Emergency Rabbi needed Jewish Interfaith wedding Chicago

We'd be glad to assist in your Interfaith wedding.
We'll meet  to
-discuss what elements from the jewish ceremony you wish to incorporate, (Huppah, (canopy)  ketubah (interfaith wedding license), breaking of the glass etc
-plan your personalized ceremony
-premarital counseling, getting to know you individually and as a couple

rabbichicago2@gmail.com
847 331 3584

Dear Rabbi, 
We wanted to thank you again for marrying us last night.  It was the perfect kind of service - intimate, authentic and exactly what we were looking for. We both took a lot of comfort in working with you and had the same sense of calmness in your presence.   You listened, didn't judge, and offered sage advice - advice that was refreshing practical.  There's much we will take away from our time with you.

Here is a sample Ceremony, which can be customized and modified with your input.

Introduction

Cup 1

Symbolic of the cup of life.

It is used in the Jewish tradition when saying the prayer for the sanctification of the wine on the Sabbath and on holidays. As we share the cup of wine, we undertake the sharing of all that the future may bring. The sweetness of the wine represents the joy of the occasion.

This cup of wine is symbolic of the cup of life. As you share this cup of wine, you undertake to share all the future may bring. May you find life's joys doubly gladdened, its bitterness sweetened, and all things hallowed by true companionship and love.

This cup of wine symbolizes the gratitude [bride] and [groom] have for the loving care and teaching of parents, the ties of heart and mind and memory that link brothers and sisters, and for the friendships that fill this cup to overflowing.

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Although you are two distinct persons, both respecting the dignity of the other, you have chosen to unite your lives and to seek your happiness together. Your individual joy will be all the greater because it is shared. Your individual fulfillment will be all the stronger because it rests in the fulfillment of the other.

 wine is the symbol of happiness. Take this goblet and drink the wine as an affirmation of your hope for the future, a future that welcomes your dreams and makes them real.

EXPLAIN Huppah

The huppah symbolizes the new home that the couple will create. The ancient rabbis compared the huppah to the tent of Abraham, found in biblical story.  Abraham was famed for his hospitality; his tent had entrances on all four sides so that travelers coming from any direction would have a door to enter.

Biblical Readings

Song Of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16a; 8:6-7a

I hear my Beloved.
See how he comes
leaping on the mountains,
bounding over the hills,
My beloved is like a gazelle,
like a young stag.

See where he stands
behind our wall. He looks in at the window,
He peers through the lattice.

My beloved lifts up his voice,
he says to me,
"Come then, my love,
my lovely one, come.

My dove hiding in the clefts of the rock,
In coverts of the cliff,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet
and your face is beautiful."

My beloved is mine and I am his.
He said to me:
"Set me like a seal on your heart
Like a seal on your arm.
For love is strong as death,
Love no flood can quench
no torrent drown.

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Hosea 2:21

And I shall betroth thee unto me forever,
Yea, I will betroth the unto me in righteousness,
And in loving kindness and in compassion;
And I shall betroth thee unto me in faithfulness.

DO YOU

OFFICIANT: We have all witnessed your exchange of vows. Now is the time to affirm your love and commitment by exchanging your rings. Wedding rings are enduring symbols of affection and trust that you share for one another. The wedding rings are the outward and visible symbols of an inward and spiritual bond, signifying the uniting of this man and this woman in marriage. The rings are made of precious metals, indicating the preciousness and abiding value of the love, which they symbolize. They are made in the form of a circle; they have neither beginning nor end, signifying the eternal and infinite nature of the bride and groom's love for each other. In wearing these rings, you proclaim your intent to reflect this loving relationship with one another

RINGS

OFFICIANT: These rings in their unbroken wholeness are tokens of your union and of your love. They represent the enduring trust and affection that you bring to one another, and are the outward and visible symbols of an inner spiritual bond.

OFFICIANT: [A] and [B], please repeat after me:
With this ring, I join my life with yours in loving kindness, compassion and faithfulness.

.

(Officiant with bride and groom repeating short phrases after him)

As you, [Groom], place this ring on [Bride]'s finger, say to her these words:

GROOM: I give you this ring as a sign for all to see of the commitment I have made to you.

Ha-ray aht m'ku-de-shet lee, b'ta-ba-at zo, l'fee emunataynu.

Be consecrated to me as my wife in the eyes of God.

GROOM: With this ring, I thee wed. I take you to be my wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to honor and respect, forsaking all others. I promise to love you and care for you, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, from this day forward.

OFFICIANT: As you, [Bride], place this ring on [Groom]'s finger, say to him these words:

BRIDE: With this ring, I thee wed. I take you to be my husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to honor and respect, forsaking all others. I promise to love you and care for you, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, from this day forward.

In keeping with the declaration you have made, you have given and received these rings. They are a token of your union, a symbol of enduring love. May they remind you that your lives are to be bound together by devotion and faithfulness.

BRIDE: I give you this ring as a sign for all to see of the commitment I have made to you.

Ha-ray Atah m'ku-de-shet lee, b'ta-ba-at zo, l'fee emunataynu.

Be consecrated to me as my husband in the eyes of God.
With this ring I join my life with yours.

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. (from Song of Songs)

Phonetic Hebrew transliteration:
Anee L'Dohdee V'Dohdee Lee

KETUBAH is Read

7 BLESSINGS CUP 2

·         Seven blessing are meant to link the couple to faith in God as Creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate Redeemer.

·         Seven blessings are recited with themes that include the creation of the world and humankind, the importance of marriage, and the hope for harmony in the world.

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A] and [B] I now bless you with these traditional blessings.
(Hebrew before English for each blessing)
Blessed are you, God, who created life.
Blessed are you, God, who created loving people.
Blessed are you, God, who unites loving couples.
Bless these two who stand before you as you blessed the first couple in the Garden of Eden.
Blessed are you, God, who grants the joy of marriage.
May we all see the day when the world will echo with the sounds of feasting and singing. Praised is love, blessed be this union.

This cup of wine is symbolic of the cup of life. As you share this cup of wine, you promise to share all that the future may bring. As you drink from this cup, so may you draw contentment, comfort and happiness from your own cup of life. May you find life's joys heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and all things hallowed by true respect, companionship and love.

Benediction

You have now affirmed before God, your families, and your friends your bond of love and commitment. You have come from different backgrounds. You have walked different paths. You are different individuals. Your love has transcended these differences. In the years before you, may the richness of the traditions that have nurtured you enhance and brighten your lives and others' as you help to create and shape the future.

May the spirit of love be ever a part of your lives, so that the union we here celebrate this day be worthy of continued celebration tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Yivarechecha Adonai v'yismerecha.
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Ya-er Adonai panav aleilcha vichuneka.
May God's countenance be lifted upon you and may God be gracious to you.
Yisa Adonai panav aleichca v'yaseim l'cha shalom.
May God's countenance be upon you, and may God give you peace.

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Pronouncement of Marriage

You have both joined voluntarily in this ceremony of marriage, and have been formally united as husband and wife in the presence of your family and friends. As you have declared openly your clear intentions to be considered before all the world as a married couple, and have exchanged rings and vows attesting thereto, by the power vested in me by the State of Illinois,  it is my pleasure and honor to pronounce you husband and wife.

  

PRONOUNCE

Marriage Preparation 

Our meetings: get to know you, discuss the ceremony, discuss your relationship

1. We will meet so

a. I can get to know you and plan a brief sermonette 3-4 minutes) about you and your marriage for the ceremony

b. Learn about the Jewish wedding and customize it for you

c. The food, the flowers, the music…check!  The discussion about how expenses will be handled, holidays celebrated, or career changes considered…very often NOT checked.

As the happiest of couples will tell you, planning a wedding is not the same as planning a marriage – in fact, it’s practically the opposite. Couples spend months planning a one-day event, but too often spend just hours discussing a partnership of a lifetime.

Couples can learn skills, perform exercises and learn new ways of thinking that can lay the groundwork for lifetimes of happiness.

I'll help you start the discussion with our conversation and great readings i have saved over the years.

We can discuss a range of skills to use throughout your lives.  Most importantly, couples can address their unique challenges, which can include: 

• Communicating effectively
• Problem solving as a couple
• Managing conflict without damaging connection
• Preserving and enhancing their commitment and friendship 

• Expectations of their marriages
• The families they came from and the families they are forming
• Building a Jewish home together
• Communication and decision making
• Conflict resolution

If you want a ketubah Jewish wedding license, they are offered for interfaith couples. Check:

http://www.jessyjudaica.com/interfaith-ketubahs/?gclid=CJ2HiIzw070CFcdaMgodcQ4AKQ
http://www.modernketubah.com/ketubah_interfaith.php

Some thoughts on interfaith marriage by another Rabbi

I believe that interfaith couples have a deep understanding of religion's place in their lives. Some people assume that being married to someone from the same religion would be easier than being in an interfaith marriage. But this is not necessarily true. I work with many couples who are both of the same religion who assume that they share the same traditions and belief, only to later discover that they have very different understandings and opinions about their faiths.
But an interfaith couple cannot make any of these assumptions. They (hopefully) realize from the start that they have to talk about everything, to explain everything. They have to learn how to approach the very tricky subject of religious beliefs with sensitivity and compassion, and thereby often develop a more realistic understanding of how religion fits into their lives.
They have to talk about how they were raised, what they believe, what they are unsure of. They have to think how they want to raise their kids, and celebrate the holidays. The have to figure out how to talk about family, heaven, sin, faith, God. They have to talk, they have to discuss, and more importantly, they have to make decisions about all this as a couple. This ongoing conversation makes them, their family, and their faith stronger.
I always recommend to the couples I work with that they should treat their relationship as "interfaith", whether they techincally share the same religion or not. Assume that you are different, be open to differences from your partner, and learn how to make decisions as a couple.
I hope this article helped you undertand interfaith ketubahs a little more, and how they can be designed to become a true symbol of your marriage.

Article from another Rabbi on why it is important to officiate

Why I Officiate at Interfaith Weddings

Nearly three years ago the world witnessed a seminal moment in American Jewish history. Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of an American President and a Secretary of State, married Jewish American Marc Mezvinsky, who was clad in a tallis (Jewish prayer shawl) and yamakah(traditional headcovering). A rabbi officiated along with a minister. The wedding unabashedly embraced Jewish marriage symbols, and even some of the most traditional rabbis who strongly oppose interfaith marriage acknowledgedthe power of Marc's open display of Jewish ritual.

Few people outside of a small group of rabbis criticized the interfaith marriage ceremony. The American public and most of the Jewish community have overwhelmingly decided that intermarriage is not a shanda (Yiddish for a scandal or embarassment). Intermarriage is part of the fabric of American Jewish life.

Still, many rabbis resist officiating at interfaith weddings. Some see officiation as giving intermarriage a rabbinic stamp of approval. Others see it as not within their purview of responsibility. Others think it contributes to assimilation and the decline of Jewish life in America.

I see it differently. Part of my job as a rabbi is to embrace interfaith couples and help make Judaism a compelling and important part of their lives. That means being their rabbi at the most sacred moment of life. Here's why:

Intermarriage Is Not a Rejection of Judaism

For most of Jewish history, interfaith marriage was not only rare but effectively served as an exit visa from Jewish life. Prior to 1960, the rate of intermarriage among American Jews was less than 3 percent. This rate began to climb in the late 1960s and early 1970s. This new trend reflected the evolution of American society. Through the 1960s and 1970s, many of the barriers that had impeded Jewish advancement collapsed. University quotas ended and professional positions that had once been effectively closed to Jews became open. Indeed, by the 1990s many of the Ivy League universities that once had Jewish quotas now employed Jewish presidents.

As Jews became integrated into mainstream American culture, they began to meet and marry those from other faiths and backgrounds. This new generation of Jews did not see intermarriage as a rejection of Jewish life. Rather, they exemplified Rabbi Alexander Schindler's understanding of intermarriage as the inevitable result of American Jewish acculturation.

Should We Circle the Wagons?

Unfortunately, some responded to this new reality with a "circle the wagons" approach. Growing intermarriage, they reason, demands that synagogues and communities build stronger walls and promote greater resistance to the "dilution" of Judaism that intermarriage represents. To do anything otherwise would be to give tacit approval to a dangerous phenomenon.

On the other hand, many leaders have argued for a policy of outreach. Rather than reject the intermarried, they say, let us welcome and engage them. Significant differences exist, however, even among advocates of this more inclusive approach. These differences usually center on rabbinic officiation.

Many say that rabbis can welcome interfaith couples to Jewish life without officiating at their weddings. Such officiation, they contend, violates one's role as a rabbi and constitutes an endorsement of something that the Reform movement officially discourages. Furthermore, performing such a marriage limits the incentive for conversion. From this point of view, conversion is the strongest indicator of Jewish commitment and increases the likelihood of raising Jewish children.

Rabbinic Officiation Makes All the Difference

I understand this point of view and appreciate the way many have come to it. My faith and my reading of the evidence, however, suggest that a different approach is more effective.

A wedding is often a peak moment of life, and it is an opportunity to imprint a wonderful Jewish memory and help a couple begin life together with Jewish guidance and support. Rabbinic participation and counseling can help a couple appreciate the beauty and significance of Jewish rituals and values. It can also help them avoid the damaging feelings of abandonment and guilt frequently experienced by those who feel isolated from their religious community. Many devoted young Jews who fall in love with and seek to marry a non-Jew experience despair when unable to stand under the huppah at their synagogue with their rabbi.

This an enormous lost opportunity. Rabbinic officiation can serve as an invitation to Jewish life. It can convey the message that we want a couple and their future family to become part of the community, create a Jewish home and raise a Jewish family. It can demonstrate the potential for Judaism to be a source of joy and meaning in an interfaith family.

'Go and See What the People Are Doing'

Reform Judaism is the only liberal religious movement to have grown numerically over the last quarter century. Its growth has benefitted enormously from interfaith couples and their extended families. Young adults who grew up in Conservative congregations and who are now intermarrying find the most welcoming home in Reform synagogues, and they are frequently joined later by their parents. This reality has led one of the country's most prominent Conservative rabbis (and a personal friend) to call for a rethinking of the movement's policy.

Judaism has survived for more than 4,000 years because we evolved and adapted to our time and place. The great first century sage, Rabbi Hillel, urged leaders of his generation toPuk Hazai Mai Amma Davar -- "Go and see what the people are doing."

We should do no less. A great number of American Reform Jews are part of interfaith relationships, and few of them chose their partner in an effort to distance themselves from the Jewish community. Rather, many today are seeking a warm and welcoming rabbi and community. They are searching for a spiritual home and a place to educate their children. We can build those homes. We can exemplify the commandment of welcoming the stranger. And in so doing, we can create vibrant communities for American Jews and their families in the 21st century.