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Mazel tov! You're getting married!
Dear Rabbi,
We wanted to thank you again for marrying us last night. It was the perfect kind of service - intimate, authentic and exactly what we were looking for. We both took a lot of comfort in working with you and had the same sense of calmness in your presence. You listened, didn't judge, and offered sage advice - advice that was refreshing practical. There's much we will take away from our time with you.
We wanted to thank you again for marrying us last night. It was the perfect kind of service - intimate, authentic and exactly what we were looking for. We both took a lot of comfort in working with you and had the same sense of calmness in your presence. You listened, didn't judge, and offered sage advice - advice that was refreshing practical. There's much we will take away from our time with you.
We will be glad to tailor make your ceremony, based on Jewish tradition, so you can have the ceremony of your dreams. We'll meet to counsel you about the ceremony, your relationship, and discuss your future together. More details below about the details of the ceremony are below.
Wedding 847-331-3584 rabbichicago2@gmail.com
Wedding 847-331-3584 rabbichicago2@gmail.com
The Traditiional Ceremony we can modify as you like
Before the ceremony, the bride is veiled, in remembrance of the fact that Rebecca veiled her face when she was first brought to Isaac to be his wife. The ketubah and state liscence are signed and memorial prayers are recited for deceased parents and grandparents.
The ceremony itself lasts 20-30 minutes, and consists of the kiddushin and the nisuin. For the kiddushin, the bride approaches and circles the groom. Two blessings are recited over wine: one the standard blessing over wine and the other regarding the commandments related to marriage. The man then places the ring on woman's finger and says "Be sanctified (mekudeshet) to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel." Usually the bride does the same to the groom.
After the kiddushin is complete, the ketubah is read aloud.
The nisuin then proceeds. The bride and groom stand beneath the chuppah, a canopy held up by four poles, symbolic of their dwelling together and of the husband's bringing the wife into his home. The importance of the chuppah is so great that the wedding ceremony is sometimes referred to as the chuppah. The Rabbi recites seven blessings (sheva brakhos) in the presence of a minyan . The essence of each of the seven blessings is:
- ... who has created everything for his glory
- ... who fashioned the Man
- ... who fashioned the Man in His image ...
- ... who gladdens Zion through her children
- ... who gladdens groom and bride
- ... who created joy and gladness ... who gladdens the groom with the bride
- and the standard prayer over wine.
The couple then drinks the wine.
The groom smashes a glass (or a small symbolic piece of glass) with his right foot
The couple then retires briefly to a completely private room.
Chicago wedding Rabbi interfaith intermarriage ceremonies obviously adjusted to meet the needs of the couple
State Marriage License
(2) Kiddush cups (wine cups, wine goblets)
White wine
A Chuppah (wedding canopy) & 4 poles
Ketubah
wedding bands (rings)
Both Hebrew names
(2) Witnesses
Tallit (prayer shawl) optional
Breakable wine cup wrapped in cloth - for breaking of the glass
2 Kiddush Cups (two wine cups, wine goblets) - wine is a central feature during a Jewish ceremony. Two physical bodies will elevate their relationship to the spiritual level. (Actually, 2 wine cups. One old representing your either of the bride or bridegroom's family tree and one new for the bride and bridegroom's union.)
A Chuppah - The marriage ceremony is conducted under a wedding canopy. There are two meanings for a Chuppah, the Jewish wedding canopy.The Kallah (bride) and Katan (bridegroom) standing under the Chuppah recite sacred vows to each other. Making the wedding ceremony spiritual.
It symbolizes both the new household the bride and bridegroom are forming and represents the public recognition of their new status as man and wife. The Jewish home is filled with acts of love.
Ketubah - The Jewish Marriage Contract between bridegroom and bride.
Wedding Rings -. This symbolizes the wholeness and eternity of one’s commitment to one’s spouse.
Hebrew Names - Hebrew names is a person's link to their family tree, their heritage.
Your Hebrew name has 5 elements:
1. Your Hebrew name
2. bar/bat (son of/daughter of)
3. Your father's Hebrew name
4. ve (and)
5. Your mother's Hebrew name
Witnesses - 2 Jewish witnesses are needed to sign the Ketubah (cannot be an immediate family member). A cousin is acceptable. Your state marriage license in Cook county does not require witnesses..
see pictures of the happy couples married Jewishly in the warm, heimish, traditional and personal ceremony
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Marriage Preparation
Our meetings: get to know you, discuss the ceremony, discuss your relationship
We will meet so
a. I can get to know you and plan a brief sermonette 3-4 minutes) about you and your marriage for the ceremony
b. Learn about the Jewish wedding and customize it for you
c. The food, the flowers, the music…check! The discussion about how expenses will be handled, holidays celebrated, or career changes considered…very often NOT checked.
As the happiest of couples will tell you, planning a wedding is not the same as planning a marriage – in fact, it’s practically the opposite. Couples spend months planning a one-day event, but too often spend just hours discussing a partnership of a lifetime.
Couples can learn skills, perform exercises and learn new ways of thinking that can lay the groundwork for lifetimes of happiness.
I'll help you start the discussion with our conversation and great readings i have saved over the years.
We can discuss a range of skills to use throughout your lives. Most importantly, couples can address their unique challenges, which can include:
- Communicating effectively
- Problem solving as a couple
- Managing conflict without damaging connection
- Preserving and enhancing their commitment and friendship
- Expectations of their marriages
- The families they came from and the families they are forming
- Building a Jewish home together
- Communication and decision making
- Conflict resolution
Bashert: Soul Mates from Jewish Learning
According to the Talmud, Rav Yehuda taught that 40 days before a male child is conceived, a voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry, literally a match made in heaven! In Yiddish, this perfect match is called "bashert," a word meaning fate or destiny. The word "bashert" can be used to refer to any kind of fortuitous good match, such as finding the perfect job or the perfect house, but it is usually used to refer to one's soul mate. There are a number of statements in the Talmud that would seem to contradict the idea of bashert, most notably the many bits of advice on choosing a wife. Nevertheless, the idea has a strong hold within the Jewish community: look at any listing of Jewish personal ads and you're bound to find someone "Looking for my bashert."
Finding your bashert doesn't mean that your marriage will be trouble-free. Marriage, like everything worthwhile in life, requires dedication, effort and energy. Even when two people are meant for each other, it is possible for them to ruin their marriage. That is why Judaism allows divorce.
Although the first marriage is bashert, it is still possible to have a good and happy marriage with a second spouse. The Talmud teaches that G-d also arranges second marriages, and a man's second wife is chosen according to his merits.
How do you know if you have found your bashert? Should you hold off on marrying someone for fear that the person you want to marry might not be your bashert, and there might be a better match out there waiting for you? The traditional view is that you cannot know who your bashert is, but once you get married, the person you married is by definition your bashert, so you should not let concerns about finding your bashert discourage you from marrying someone.
And while we're on the subject of G-d arranging marriages, I should share this delightful midrash: it is said that a Roman woman asked a rabbi, "if your G-d created the universe in six days, then what has he been doing with his time since then?" The rabbi said that G-d has been arranging marriages. The Roman woman scoffed at this, saying that arranging marriages was a simple task, but the rabbi assured her that arranging marriages properly is as difficult as parting the Red Sea. To prove the rabbi wrong, the Roman woman went home and took a thousand male slaves and a thousand female slaves and matched them up in marriages. The next day, the slaves appeared before her, one with a cracked skull, another with a broken leg, another with his eye gouged out, all asking to be released from their marriages. The woman went back to the rabbi and said, "There is no god like your G-d, and your Torah is true."
Reviews from Happy Couples:
Feedback from couples
I wanted to thank you for doing such a great job this weekend at Dan and My wedding. We really enjoyed your service during the ketubah signing and during the huppa. We both really enjoyed listening to your stories and thank you for making it so personal for us. So many people came up to us during the wedding and said how enjoyable and personal you made the huppa. Thank you again for helping us during our engagement and for taking the time to teach us about the meaning of the traditions and giving us material to help us make our marriage strong. I hope we will stay in touch.
Rabbi,
Thank you for a wonderful ceremony. My mom loved it and so did we!
You did a fantastic job. Thank you for making our day so special. Jon and Jor
Hi Rabbi,
I just wanted to thank you for officiating our ketubah and huppah ceremonies, we loved it, it was wonderful. We gave your information to our family friends who really enjoyed the ceremony and whose children are getting married soon as well Again, thank you for sharing our happy day with us!
Mariya and Roman
Thank you for doing such a wonderful job officiating at our wedding. Everyone was talking about what you said. It was great! You really made our wedding special. We are very lucky to have found you. Your reviews on the web are right on! Thanks again.
John
Thank you so much Rabbi! Everyone really loved the huppah and how you lead it.
Again thank you times a million for everything
Alina and Eugene
We were looking for a rabbi in Chicago to officiate at our wedding and found you. Sara and I can't thank you enough for your role at our wedding. You were just perfect and we both felt so lucky to have you there. We really wanted to have a "Jewish wedding" and you made our dream come true. Everything felt so special and sincere. Your remarks were warm, relevant and sounded like you've known us for a long time. We got a lot of compliments after the wedding about your service and it was well deserved.
Thank you for making our day so special. Hopefully I will see you soon.
Fyi, my younger brother and his fiance really enjoyed your service and so did her parents. Her dad is orthodox and his Rabbi won't do their wedding at the hotel. If it's ok with you, I'll forward your information off to my bother and hopefully he'll contact you. It would be great if you can be a part of his wedding also.
Rabbi,
Thank you for a wonderful ceremony. My mom loved it and so did we!l
You did a fantastic job. Thank you for making our day so special. Jon and Jor
Jewish Chicago wedding Rabbi interfaith intermarriages officiated too
Thank you so much Rabbi! Everyone really loved the huppah and how you lead it.
Again thank you times a million for everything
Alina and Eugene
We were looking for a rabbi in Chicago to officiate at our wedding and found you. Sara and I can't thank you enough for your role at our wedding. You were just perfect and we both felt so lucky to have you there. We really wanted to have a "Jewish wedding" and you made our dream come true. Everything felt so special and sincere. Your remarks were warm, relevant and sounded like you've known us for a long time. We got a lot of compliments after the wedding about your service and it was well deserved.
Lonny congrats... I can't believe you are being married by the same Rabbi who just officiated our wedding in Oct. Small world. Enjoy all the wedding planning fun and again congrats!!!
I just wanted to thank you so much for coming to Quincy and being a part of our wedding in October. It meant a lot to Bruce and I that you officiated the wedding since you were the Rabbi that helped me convert. Also, thank you for saving me at the hotel when the limo wouldn't start. Oy what a day that was, classic Murphy's Law...but in the end the ceremony was beautiful and I married my best friend, my bashert. Thank you for everything
Wedding thanks
Hello Rabbi ,
I wanted to thank you for doing such a great job this weekend at Dan and My wedding. We really enjoyed your service during the ketubah signing and during the huppa. We both really enjoyed listening to your stories and thank you for making it so personal for us. So many people came up to us during the wedding and said how enjoyable and personal you made the huppa. Thank you again for helping us during our engagement and for taking the time to teach us about the meaning of the traditions and giving us material to help us make our marriage strong. I hope we will stay in touch.
Thank you again!
Sincerely,
Sara and I can't thank you enough for your role at our wedding. You were just perfect and we both felt so lucky to have you there. We really wanted to have a "Jewish wedding" and you made our dream come true. Everything felt so special and sincere. Your remarks were warm, relevant and sounded like you've known us for a long time. We got a lot of compliments after the wedding about your service and it was well deserved.
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